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December 16 2018

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Thread Author: RiKo
Thread ID: 2254
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Terrible Game - Dangerous Streets CD32 Review
Dangerous Streets was one of the first gaems for the new Amiga CD 32. The 16bit Amiga was very successful so there was much excitemnt amongst Amiga owners about this new CD-based 32 bit machine, and people were waiting to see what it could do. Then came Dangerous Streets.......

This is an excerpt from a review of Dangerous Streets (a fighting game) for the Amiga CD32. Its from a dedicated Amiga magazine so u can imagine how bad the game must have been. it made me laugh so i thought i would post it (I am sorting out old videogame stuff at the moment)

Picture the scene : It's Little Johnny's birthday and he's too excited to sleep. After several hours of tossing and turning he decides to brave the wrath of his parents. Tip-toeing into their room, he places a cold hand on his mother's shoulder and gently shakes her from her peaceful slumber. "Morning, love," she murmurs, a smile creeping from ear to ear, "happy birthday"

The parcel is impressively large and Little Johnny immediately guesses its contents: a CD32 - exactly what he'd requested. Tearing the gift wrapping apart and faking his surprise he turns to his mother and hugs her, tears sreaming from his face. "Thanks mum," he grins "it's just what I wanted"

Not Stopping to read the instructions he sprints downstairs and begins setting up his brand new entertainment system, barely able to contain his growing excitement. Behind him, his mother appears bearing yet another smaller present. "Here, I thought you'd like this to play on it," she whispers, planting a kiss on Little Johnny's forehead.

Removing the bow, a tear trickling down his cheek, Jonny turns to his mother "But you said money was tight and not to expect much this year." he says.

"I know," comes the reply, "I had to sell your younger sister to some foreigners to raise the cash, but your happiness means more to me than your sister obviously did.

The second guft is a CD case which Little Johnny wastes no time in opening. "Thanks mum," he repeats as he slowly lifts the lid. It's now that the smell hits him as the freshly laid turd is revealed. "What's this?" retches Little Johnny.

"The nice man down the computer shop told me that this is the future of entertainment. It's a 'beat them up' game, whatever that is, called Dangerous Streets. It's on CD so it must be good."

Inserting the turd into the tray and switching the machine on, Little Johnny begins to bawl as the awfulness of the game is revealed. "You cow" he screeches at his mother "you bloody cow!"

As Little Johnny digs out his old Atari VCS and begins to seek out some proper games his mother removes her belt and constructs a makeshift noose. "I'm sorry," she cries, wrapping the belt around her neck, "I'm so sorry...."

YouTube Video

here is another quote from the same review

I'd advise you get a really big curry and wait until the morning after. You'll get the same amount of crap but at least it'll be cheaper

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I got my Amiga CD 32 down from attic today as well. I am looking forward to trying it out Smile I also have a module for it too that turns it into an Amiga A1200. Fortunately i don't have Dangerous Streets, i do have Microcosm which sounds crap altho i am looking forward to seeing the FMV acted out by the programmers haha.

I have Elite 2 and Exile (one of my fav games ever) for CD32 but i heard the CD32 version of Exile isn't quite as playable cos they made all the gfx bigger so you can't see so much of the play area. The console looks like the cheapest console i have ever seen - ugly cheap grey plastic with no style, i hope the games will be better .........
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lol that review is hilarious and judging by the video, it's probably well deserved too. Poor little Johnny.

I remember that Microcosm game - those early 90's FMV things are poor but still interesting as a gaming curiousity. They certainly don't make them like that anymore but the genre is ripe for the homebrew scene.
lol i liked that they just wrote a whole 2 page review taking the P*ss out of this game and saying how crap it was. I hope the developers were hanging their heads in shame! In that game it looks impossible to hit your opponent, it only seems to detect a hit in certain places.

The CD 32 is a bit flawed in my opinion as a games console. Its basically an Amiga A1200 with a CD drive and an extra chip. The A1200 is a very good computer, but it needed more sprites and playfields to hope to compete with the 16 bit consoles. The CPU is very powerful but its more a computer than a console.
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Dangerous Streets recently whilst 'shopping' around YouTube. I hit upon it accidentally when I found Fightin' Spirit for the CD32... it was in the vid list down the side. I considered putting DStreets in the screenshot thread, but opted for FSpirit instead.

the YouTube vids for Dangerous Streets it was immediately apparent that the game was a total and utter joke. That review, whilst harsh (Hanging Mother??) was kinda true, as well as being amusing. I really related to it because, it was obviously aiming at the specific 'struggling single-parent' scenario, and how much the Mum put on the line to deliver what she had been led to believe was best for her child. I was also brought up single-handedly by my Mum (as my Father died when I was only 5... I mention this ONLY because he didn't f*ck off or anything, it was just one of lifes unfortunate tragedies... like this game!) and I could have so easily fell into the same scenario back in the day! One trip to Dixons or Currys and one of life's losers could have easily sold my Mum a CD32 with that game, relating it to SF2 and whatnot (which my Mum ACTUALLY knew I was obsessed with as a child!) and VOILA.... I could have been little Jimmy. Truth is though, at that age, I doubt I would have found such a game as offensive then as I would now. Yep, it's a good piece of writing to be honest... it really took me back, and i'm sure as a kid I too had my fair share of being ungrateful towards my Mums hardest efforts.

If only Jimmys Mum had gone for Fightin' Spirit instead... she may still have been here now, God bless her soul! Bye

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