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December 17 2018

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Thread Author: Shiny
Thread ID: 1876
Thread Info
There are 13 posts in this thread, and it has been viewed 17824 times.
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The best Transformers review evaR
Shiny
Mark Kermode is something of a hero as far as movie critics go, loving b-movie horror and genuinely good flicks and hating anything pretentious, boring or just plain bad. Almost always right, eloquent and funny with it.

I reviewed Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen after watching it and it went something like this...

"Transformers: Revenge of the 360 pan/zoom effect.

Seriously, every scene. You know what this scene needs! A 360 pan and zoom like all the rest, Mr Bay? Yes!!

If you are unfortunate enough to see this piece of shit movie youíll be pleased to know that itís not all bad special effects, terrible dialogue and merciless butchering of your favourite childhood toys, it also has a plot that would insult the intelligence of a house plant. Oh, and itís really really long. Itís just full of win.

Perhaps itís only saving grace would be Megan Foxís introduction to the movie, bent over a motorcycle in some very short denim, er, shorts. That would have been my movie right there. 360 panning and zooming around those shorts for 3 hours and then roll the credits. Fuck the badly designed robots. I donít think Hollywood will be knocking on my door for Transformers 3 somehow.

Avoid like the plague."

Mark Kermode's review, however, is far far better.

http://www.bbc.co...90609.html
 
Kazuya_UK
Not a massive fan of Kermode but that was funny. Not seen the movie yet either but I will do sooner or later. I have to say I do like the first one Smile

Kaz
gamercards.exophase.com/224299.png
 
http://www.neogeoforlife.com
Shiny
Wait I've found another review of equal brilliance... Perhaps we should start a quest to find the best TF reviews on the web.

http://www.bbc.co...90609.html

Edit: http://io9.com/53...ue&s=i
Edited by Shiny on 05. August 2009 23:12
 
Kazuya_UK
Is that not the same one??

Kaz
gamercards.exophase.com/224299.png
 
http://www.neogeoforlife.com
Shiny
Kazuya_UK wrote:
Is that not the same one??

Kaz


I'm a dumbass.

http://io9.com/53...ue&s=i
 
Shiny
I know I'm going on and on about this but it really is an incredibly shit movie. So shit in fact that there seems to be no end to the hilarity to be had from pulling it apart.

Here's another for y'all...

http://www.toples...2_faqs.php

I should warn for those of you that haven't yet had "the pleasure" of seeing it there may be plot spoilers here and there but, in all honesty, the plot's equally baffling after you have seen it.
 
Raiken
I thought the concept of a live action Transformers movie was so retarded I never even saw the first one. There's too many goddamn sequels and Will Smith movies out these days.

Out of sheer boredom I watched Terminator Salvation the other day(for free hehe). As I figured it was complete and utter crap. Christian Bale can't act his way out of a nutsack. If there's one thing I take pride in it's the fact that I pretty much never go to the movies.
oi66.tinypic.com/zyjcpl.jpg
 
Neo Beast
I am big Transformers fan. i am into collecting the reissue toys that Takara & hasbro had released over the years. been a fan since i was young lad ( now i am just a old fart ) back in 1984 with the cartoon. i didn't see the first live movie untill it was released on dvd. I was shocked how f**king gay it was, a 4 year old could draw better robots then that i turned it off half way through the movie and will never ever watch that one again and will not watch the second one either. i had a mate who brought the Optimus & megatron toy figure pack when this movie came out. he never was into transformers when he was young, he actually thought these toys he brought was the original transformers based on the cartoon series in the 80's. i never laughed so hard in my life seeing the toy line and hearing that. i went to my toy container and grabbed out a G1 optimus Prime and Megatron and showed him. It was funny the weeks that followed. walking past his desk at work seeing a G1 Prime & Megatron near his monitor. he got em of ebay.
Edited by Neo Beast on 06. August 2009 05:48
 
RiKo
I got a G1 and Megatron + Prime too. I like that MEgatron transforms into a huge gun while Prime transforms into a......truck. hmmm wonder who would win in a fight?

I have always like Transformers and did see the cartoon film many years ago 'Robots in Disguise'. I didn't actually think first Transformers film was as bad as I was expecting - it was quite funny near the start with the car salemans shouting at his wife, and wasn't as cheesey as it could have been for that kind of family/teen action film. I just saw it on TV though, I wouldn't have gone to see it at cinema.

It was quite cheesey though as it got going. Least it wasn't all dark + moody thats one thing I will say for it - often when they do new versions of things they make them all dark + moody which to me seems to have happened ever since Tim Burton re-invented Batman.

I don't think I will be seeing the 2nd film until it comes out on TV - but it does sound a bit crap. Has Michael Bay made any good films before ? - I don't really know what other films he has done, I know he is a big name though.
Mini-Reviews of films I have just watched : http://richwatmov...press.com/
Mini-Reviews of ZX Spectrum games : https://iplayzxsp...ress.com//
 
http://www.youtube.com/user/PhoenixRisen7
Shiny
I can only comment on the ones I've seen obviously. His track record leaves me wondering how on Earth he still gets work frankly. Mark Kermode thinks he's the antichrist, and here's why...

Bad Boys - Shite.
The Rock - Less shite 'cos Sean Connery swears in it.
Armageddon - Shite
Pearl Harbor - Shite to the point of insulting
Bad Boys 2 - Shite 2
Texas Chainsaw remake - Shite
Amityville remake - Shite
The Island - Shite
Transformers - Shite (previously the worst movie ever made)
Friday 13th remake - Shite
Transformers ROFL - Worst movie evaR (dude dies and gets sent back by robot Gods, I shit you not)
 
Neo Beast
Shiny wrote:
I can only comment on the ones I've seen obviously. His track record leaves me wondering how on Earth he still gets work frankly. Mark Kermode thinks he's the antichrist, and here's why...

Bad Boys - Shite.
The Rock - Less shite 'cos Sean Connery swears in it.
Armageddon - Shite
Pearl Harbor - Shite to the point of insulting
Bad Boys 2 - Shite 2
Texas Chainsaw remake - Shite
Amityville remake - Shite
The Island - Shite
Transformers - Shite (previously the worst movie ever made)
Friday 13th remake - Shite
Transformers ROFL - Worst movie evaR (dude dies and gets sent back by robot Gods, I shit you not)


I seen most of them movies. i completely agree with you shiny. I haven't enjoyed any of em. Michael bay should be hanged up by his feet and shot repeatedly
 
Shiny
I've been quite mean to this movie, and for good reason, butt never let it be said that Michael Bay doesn't know what his target audience wants...

i149.photobucket.com/albums/s49/huwuno/megan_fox_shorts_transformers.jpg

And that, I guess, is why he gets work. With camera angles like that and massive explosions teenagers in their millions chomp at the bit to hand over their pocket money. It's almost evil how calculated it is.
 
RiKo
haha I hate Armageddon and Bad boys. I did like The Rock when I saw it though. haven't seen any of the others apart from The Isalnd which was ok just watching it on TV

This may have been on NG4L before but its worth watching again (I stole this from Atom a while back)

YouTube Video

Mini-Reviews of films I have just watched : http://richwatmov...press.com/
Mini-Reviews of ZX Spectrum games : https://iplayzxsp...ress.com//
 
http://www.youtube.com/user/PhoenixRisen7
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